


We All Get A Little Wrecked Sometimes

by issiefrancis



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Vomiting, i guess if that's something you need to know, it turned into fluff, slowburn is not my forte, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 01:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8602171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/issiefrancis/pseuds/issiefrancis
Summary: Inspired by The Veronicas' new (ish) song, On Your Side. Holtzmann shows up at Erin's apartment at 3am, drunk and looking like hell.





	1. Stay

Holtzmann shows up at Erin's apartment at 3am on a Saturday morning, drunk, and looking like hell. 

Erin peeps through the peephole when the buzzer won't stop going, and immediately opens the door. Holtzmann's hair is falling out, her mascara is tracked down her cheeks, and her eyes are bloodshot and puffy. 

" _ Holtzmann! _ " Erin shuts the door, pulling her over to the couch. "What is it?"

"I-" Holtzmann screws up her face and then starts bawling. She buries her face in her hands, obviously trying to choke her sobs back. 

Erin stiffens up for a moment – she's not exactly the Oprah of emotional intimacy, ya know? – and then sits down beside her. She picks up her drink bottle from earlier and unscrews the cap, and the tissue box from the coffee table and puts them both in between them. Holtzmann blindly mops up her face with the tissues, smudging make-up even further across her features. 

"Do you want a hug?" Erin knows from experience that unexpected touching can elicit panic reactions from Holtzmann, and the last thing she needs right now is more stress. 

Holtzmann nods, reaching clumsily for Erin, and Erin pulls her close, letting her rest her face in her shoulder and cry. She rubs the back of her head, fiddling out the pins still stuck in there, and squeezes her gently. "Holtzy, Holtzy…" she murmurs in a calming tone (she hopes), gently rocking them back and forward. "I'm here, I'm right here, it's gonna be okay, okay, shh, I'm here if you wanna talk…" 

"Oh god-" Holtzmann, still crying, suddenly struggles out of her embrace and bolts for the bathroom. 

Oh, great. Erin follows with the glass of water and expertly rinses out a hand-towel as Holtzmann pukes. She squats beside her friend, gently pulling her hair away from her face, and putting a cool hand on her forehead. Holtzmann retches and chokes for another minute or so before leaning against the wall and sighing. The rings under her eyes are obvious, accentuated by the harsh light and the melting make-up. Erin wipes her face with the hand-towel and squeezes her hand. "Are you done?" 

Holtzmann nods, leaning forward and gulping down air. Erin hugs her tightly. She's stopped sobbing, only a few hot tears leaking out against Erin's shoulder, and Erin gently pushes her back and hands her the water bottle. "Slow sips, Holtzy. You can do it." 

Holtzmann obeys, getting down half the bottle before she puts it down. "Thank you. I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," Erin says, smiling tiredly. "We're family." 

The sobs start up again.  _ Good one, Erin. _ Erin pats her shoulder until she recovers. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

Holtzmann breathes deeply, obviously considering carefully. 

"It's okay if not," Erin hurries to reassure her. She rubs gentle circles on Holtzmann's knee, knowing that's what Holtzmann herself does when she's upset. 

"Erin, why doesn't anyone want me to stay?" Tears are still dripping down Holtzmann's face, and Erin gently wipes them away with her thumb. 

Erin's heart breaks a little. She hugs Holtzmann close, at a loss for words. Finally she decides on her usual practicality. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." She holds Holtzmann's hand in one of hers while she cleans off the last smudges of make-up. Then she throws the cloth in the bath and gets a hairbrush and brushes Holtzmann's hair out and then into a loose bun. Holtzmann stays silent and sitting while Erin does this - maybe the first time she's ever seen her like this. Then she gets up and pulls a set of clean pajamas and a clean toothbrush from under the sink and helps Holtzmann stand up. "I'll be in the lounge, okay?" She leaves her to it, hoping to god that she's doing the right thing. 

Holtzmann emerges a couple of minutes later, stumbling a little but dressed in Erin’s loose pajamas. "Thank you, Erin." Her voice is heavy with the words she can't say. 

Erin half-smiles. "You can sleep in my bed," she offers. "I changed the sheets yesterday." Holtzmann looks lost. 

"Okay," she says, turning away towards the bedroom. When she reaches the doorway, she turns back and reaches out a hand. Erin tilts her head and then understands. She doesn't want to be alone.

Erin follows her friend into her bedroom and tucks her under the covers. "You're okay, it's okay," she murmurs, climbing into the other side of the bed. Holtzmann immediately reaches over and cuddles up to her like a baby koala. Erin sighs into her hair and hugs her back. 

Holtzmann falls asleep almost immediately. 


	2. Bedhead

Erin wakes up to the sound of a door slamming. Holtzmann's not in bed anymore. Erin rolls out of bed and goes to the kitchen, calling for Holtzmann softly. No response. There's a note on the bench.

_Thank you for everything. I'm sorry._

On a hunch, Erin runs outside and down the stairs. Holtzmann is standing outside, summoning a cab in her rolled-up pajamas.

"Holtz!" Holtzmann spins around. "What's up? Come back inside, I'll make us some breakfast."

"I have to go, I have stuff, at the lab-" She stutters over the words.

Neither of them are convinced. Erin reaches for her, then stops herself. Holtzmann sometimes freaks at unexpected contact, and she looks tired and sad already. She's staring expectantly at Erin, like she wants to be hurt.

The moment hangs between them, until Erin manages to say something.

"I want you to stay."

Holtzmann blinks slowly, running a hand through her hair, conflict playing across her face.

"You want a ride or not?" The cab driver shakes her head at the bed-headed pair of them and Holtzmann spins around.

"Oh-" She sucks in a breath and looks back at Erin, who smiles gently. "No, sorry. Um, thank you though."

Erin's smiling wider now. She holds out a hand. Holtzmann takes it and follows her back into the apartment.

Erin cooks breakfast slowly, taking her time, letting slow music wash over them. Holtzmann offers to help, but Erin tells her to sit down, "You had a pretty shitty night. Let me take care of you."

So she sits at the breakfast bar and watches Erin's hands slowly but surely create two stacks of pancakes, every so often singing along to the soft music from the stereo and smiling over her shoulder at Holtzmann. Holtzmann leans on her hands, watching Erin. A few tears slip out, but she wipes them away before Erin notices.

They eat in quiet peace, apart from Holtzmann thanking Erin and gulping down her pancakes in record time.

Then Erin says (again), "Do you want to talk about it?"

Holtzmann tilts her head, obviously considering. Erin lets her have time, looking back at her pancakes and taking several measured bites before Holtzmann says, "Okay."

"Okay," Erin says, looking up briefly and smiling supportively. She offers a hand to Holtzmann, who smiles but shakes her head. She takes a few moments to gather her thoughts.

"I'm _weird,_ Er. I'm not the kind of girl that girls take home to meet their parents. And I was okay with that. I like one night stands, and I've never met anyone who would have appreciated everything about me. Like, no one ever understood that 'engineer' was as important to my identity as 'queer'. But you guys have made me question that and then – there's this woman I like, even though I promised myself I would never fall for a straight girl again. And I needed to get over her so I went and got drunk and then I ended up at her goddamned apartment and-"

Erin barely has a moment to process Holtzmann's fast, monotone flow of words before Holtzmann leans over and kisses her, hard and sloppy on the mouth.

She pulls back almost immediately. "Sorry, I had to know. I'll go. Thanks for breakfast." Holtzmann jumps down from the stool and practically runs for the door.

"Wait!" Erin rubs a hand over her face. "Holtz, come back." She gets down too and follows Holtzmann to the door. "Hey-" And then she kisses her too, but soft and questioning this time. "You're okay. Stay."

Holtzmann smiles, pulling Erin flush against her. "Are you really okay with this?"

"Of course." Erin smiles widely.

Suddenly Holtzmann ducks under Erin's arm and sprints for the bathroom. It's practically a re-enactment of last night.

"Were my pancakes really that bad?" Erin kneels beside her and rubs her back as she throws up.  

"Just hungover. Ate way too fast." Holtzmann gasps. She sits back, wiping a hand across her mouth. "Sorry. Way to ruin a moment, huh?"

Erin laughs. "Just brush your teeth before making another move on me, okay?" She kisses Holtzmann's sweaty forehead and goes to make the bed. After she straightens out the covers, she yawns.

"Will you be terribly offended if I mess up your bed, like, right after you made it?" Holtzmann asks, emerging from the bathroom.

"Nothing sounds better, to be entirely honest." Erin yanks down the covers and climbs right back into bed, holding them open so that Holtzmann can curl up against her body. "I'm so tired."

"Me too," Holtzmann yawns, prompting a second one from Erin.

"Night, babe," Erin chuckles, kissing Holtzmann quickly, again, just to seal the deal. "Don't go running off again, please?"

"'Course not," Holtzmann murmurs, already half-asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if this actually needs the part three or not... Thoughts?


	3. Low-key

Erin wakes up earlier than Holtzmann this time, and it looks about midday outside. Instinctively, she reaches over to make sure that her friend hasn't run off. (Friend? Are they still only friends?)

Holtzmann grunts and rolls over. "Hey," she mumbles.

"Morning," Erin responds. "Or-" she stretches over Holtzmann and checks her phone. "Afternoon. It's nearly two."

"Shit," Holtzmann says.

"Oh, shit," Erin echoes. "Five missed calls from Abby."

She dials back immediately, seeing that the last one was only ten minutes ago.

"ERIN GILBERT!" Abby's voice echoes down the phone and Erin winces, pulling it away and hitting speaker. "Where _are_ you?"

"My apartment?" Erin says guiltily. "I was asleep."

"Good, because we're five minutes away. Get dressed, we've got a bust that we should have been at half an hour ago."

"Shit," Erin says with feeling.

"Long shot, but have you seen Holtz? She's not picking up her phone and she went out last night, so she might still be asleep, but we really need her."

Erin panics. "Uh-"

"I'm here, Abby." Holtzmann answers for her. "We'll be down in a few minutes."

" _Finally!_ " Abby squeals down the phone and they can hear her gabbling something to Patty as she dials off.

Erin looks wide-eyed at Holtzmann. "Holtz-"

"Erin, c'mon, we've got a bust." Holtzmann jumps out of bed, fumbling in Erin's closet for clean clothes without even asking.

" _Holtz_ ," Erin says again, unable to move. Holtzmann drops the tweed skirt she's holding and ducks over in front of Erin.

"Breathe, Erin. In, out, in, out." Holtzmann holds out her hands, familiar with the signs of her colleague's panic attacks by now. "Can I touch you?"

Erin nods, still struggling to breathe. Holtzmann wraps her arms around her, murmuring softly. "What's freaking you out?"

Erin gasps in a breath and then exhales. "Abby-"

"Oh." Holtzmann tilts her head to the side. "We don't have to tell them about-" The kiss hangs between them like an unanswered question.

"They know," Erin says.

Holtzmann nods, smiling ruefully. "Yeah, they do. How about we have a proper talk about this later, and for now I'll tell Abby and Patty to lay off? Think you can manage?"

Erin nods shakily.

"Atta-girl," Holtz smiles. "Here you are." She passes Erin some tights and turns away to give her privacy as she changes. Holtzmann herself grabs some shorts and a long tee and picks up Erin's phone as it begins to buzz again. "Hey, Abs. We'll be down in a sec." She slips into the hallway and murmurs a few words along the lines of _Erin practically had a heart attack so lay off and don't screw it up for me with this gorgeous girl._ To her credit, Abby doesn't push it, just asking if Erin is okay.

Holtzmann gives the verbal equivalent of a shrug. "She had a lil panic attack before. Go easy today."

Abby replies in the affirmative and then hangs up.

"You ready, babe?" Holtzmann yells through the door. Erin emerges, grabbing her keys and locking the door behind her.

"Okay, girls, sounds like a class four malevolent entity," Abby launches into business without even greeting the other half of the team. "An old cemetery. Holtzmann, Erin, your garbage man outfits should be somewhere in the back."

Holtzmann finds both of their suits, and turns away to give Erin privacy to change.

They pull up outside the cemetery, suited and ready to bust.

The main event doesn't take long. The spirit seems kind of happy to be consigned to the afterlife. Erin doesn't even get slimed, which is cause enough for the celebratory drinks they agree to get after going home to change.

Erin requests to be dropped at her house because she's running low on underwear at the firehouse. Holtzmann reaches across the back seat and brushes her hand, questioning with her eyes if Erin wants her to come too.

Erin nods.

Abby and Patty don't comment when they get out together, but they're squealing by the time they pull away from the kerb.

Erin doesn't look at Holtz as they go upstairs. She collapses on her bed after unlocking the door, eyes filling with tears. Holtz sits beside her and reaches out questioningly. Erin shakes her head. "Can I just… have a minute?"

Holtzmann nods, forehead crinkling in concern. "Holler if ya need me." She finds a novel on the bookshelf in Erin's lounge and kicks her heels over the back of the couch.

She's almost finished the fourth chapter when Erin emerges, showered, dressed and hair tied up in a bun. "You okay, Gilbert?"

"Yeah." Erin leans down and kisses her. She kisses back. "So, we're doing this?"

"We're doing this. Or, I'm doing you, hopefully."

Erin laughs, flushing at the innuendo.

"Do you wanna talk about… before?" She gestures to the bedroom, hoping Erin catches her drift.

"Just a bit of a panic attack. I'm okay. I'm good." At Holtz's concerned look and move to hug her, Erin shakes her head. "No, really. I'm pretty good at sorting myself out by now."

"Should we talk about it?" Holtz is uncharacteristically uncertain about how to help Erin. How serious they are. What she wants.

"Maybe later. We probably should, but I'm not in the mood right now. Kinda hungry, actually. Wanna go get food?"

Erin seems fine, so Holtzmann agrees. "I'm famished, to be honest. I swear all I've done since I got here if sleep, eat, and cry. Not in that order."

Erin giggles. "You're not wrong. You wanna go out for dinner?"

"Are you asking me on a _date_?" Holtzmann grins.

"I… No…" Erin stutters. "I guess it could be a date."

"I'm wearing your sweatpants."

"It's a low-key date."

"Pancakes?" Holtzmann grins.

"It's dinner time."

"Pancakes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I didn't forget this existed. I swear.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
